Multiple oncology appointments later....I've been simulated, tattooed, testing, bled, and am ready for beam films, and onward.
Daily treatment starts next Tuesday. Every week day. 6 weeks or so. As always, they give me information in drips and drabs (what's a drab?) and so I don't have the actual schedule in front of me, though it does exist.
Simulation, the process by which they get you in the right position, avoid internal organs as much as possible, and set you up to not spend hours doing this daily (by tattooing you), was not so fun. On the bright side, the two men (boys, they were boys) who will be administering my treatment are sweet and cute. I've moved back to MSKCC for radiation, and all the people are super nice, which is a pleasure, considering i am there all the time.
back into the main hospital section, so old people, kids, dying people, the usual. makes it more exhausting. scared people. lots of really scared people. scared they will die, scared their loved ones will die. often its not the cancer people who are scared, but the others. the ones who don't know what to do. sometimes i want to give them hugs. or hold their hands. too much space between all the people in the room.
[ﻩﺫﺍ ﻩﻭ ﺎﻠﺤﻜﻣ] is the distance between people in that room because of their isolation from a perceived helplessness, or is it a cultural thing where people believe it might be rude to talk to another scared person?
Posted by: dmenegaz | 11/08/2007 at 03:26 PM
Not that you should be the East Coast version of Amma the great hugging saint of India, but when words fail isn't that the most universal comfort, a touch?
Posted by: dmenegaz | 11/08/2007 at 03:27 PM
i have held hands with sick people at times. this day was a bit too much for me. I couldnt have done it. I suspect it will become more common as time goes on, however, as I have something to give them.
Posted by: eyepoke | 11/10/2007 at 08:53 PM